i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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