We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
