Sponge bath it is.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
