is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
