somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
How's work?
Spinning.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
