margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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