You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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