normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
