So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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