is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
