Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
