I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize