Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
