This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
