This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
