Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
