i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
