Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
