I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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