Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
