If i come over, it means nothing
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
