there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
