I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
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