Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
