his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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