What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
