I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
