so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
