I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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