its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
