I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
