There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Come share oat with me in your robe
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
