Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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