He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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