I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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