It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize