That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
