I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I need to calm my uterus...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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