we're chasing vodka with high fives
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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