My Higher Power is John Stamos
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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