so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
In America we eat man semen.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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