well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
