Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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