Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
