I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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