So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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