this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The struggles of a small town man whore
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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