i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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