He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
