You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just pee around me
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
