i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
