If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
