a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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