Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
