what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
