if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
