My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I want to be your penis for a week.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
