HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I seem to have left my pride at pride
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
