A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
